Planning as Self-Care
(691 words, 3-minute read)
Lately, life has gotten too serious. And as a result, everyone around me and I paid for it. Simply stating, I turn into a miserable human.
In the last couple of years, I have developed an understanding of who I really am, all the goods, the bads, and the stuff in between. But with all this knowledge, I can sometimes still turn into a nasty beast.
The biggest shift in my perspective is that I see my behavior more clearly and am better equipped to change it actively. This ability cuts down on the time I spend sulking and playing the woo-me game.
One of the tools I use is to ask myself what little Chris wants to do today. I ask myself this question every day, and it is amazing what the answer is sometimes. Today, her answer was to find a place to hide for a week. (It’s February and we are in the middle of a snowstorm at this writing.)
I started with the question: If I could get away right now, where would I go? The first thing I answered was “someplace warm.” Much to my logical goal-oriented brain’s dismay, I avoided work and focused on warmth. And with that, I was off to plan an imaginary adventure. With no expectations about when or how I would make it happen, I let myself explore a place I had never been.
I started with the question: If I could get away right now, where would I go? The first thing I answered was “someplace warm.” Much to my logical goal-oriented brain’s dismay, I avoided work and focused on warmth. And with that, I was off to plan an imaginary adventure.
I was completely engrossed in the process for hours.
From the outside, this simple could be brushed off as just another form of procrastination, but it took my mind off all the shitty things that have been worrying me. And clearly, I needed that.
By the end of the session, I knew what time of year to go, how I was going to get there, the area I was going to stay in, the options for lodging, the sights I might want to see, what restaurants to check out, what I might buy to bring back, and what I would wear.
This was a fun activity for me. But what I didn’t realize was how much calmer I was and how my mood had shifted. Then, it hit me like a bolt of lightning: planning is a form of play for me.
I love planning!
Why hadn’t I ever noticed this before? In the past, when I was in distress, I have turned to common relievers like food, drink, and doom scrolling. But as part of my development, I know, they don’t do anything to change my mood. If anything, they make things worse. But planning a trip – that was the boost I needed.
Conventional wisdom claims that planning is just a sophisticated form of procrastination, but for me, it is an intuitive act of self-care. Read a related post about this here. Conventional wisdom also says that to boost your “happy hormone,” you should be active, get your body moving. I’m not disputing this theory, but what happens when you don’t get a boost from being active? The last thing I wanted to do was to try to exert any more energy.
I must ask the big question then: if making a list is fun, am I really just procrastinating?
Or is it my soul’s way of protecting myself? It’s my way of slowing down and resetting. If the end result is to get into a better mood, who the hell cares which path I take? I have concluded that when I am stressed, the last thing I want or need is to go, go, go. Instead, I want to curl up and slow down. If this sounds like you, I invite you to try planning a trip.
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